The American government has a new war to fight… the fight against the Environment.
“I have been watching this trend closely grow… over the years I have been Mr. President. Now a new enemy has come to fight us even so… while we are still fighting Terrorism. Well let’s call a spade a tar baby and Environment you are a terrorist.”
- George W. Bush, POTUS
A Presidential spokesperson assured us that the President meant to say there has been a growing trend of the Environment encroaching upon the American economy, which puts the American way of life at risk. The White House then released a simulated photo of the encroaching Environment and warned citizens to take every precaution when encountering the Environment.
The 'Environment' attacks an Ohio town.
Ralph Nader, two time Presidential Candidate respectfully disagrees:
"It's absurd. The picture is clearly a poorly doctored photo of an enlarged caterpillar, which by the way are herbivores. This Administration has consistently misled the American people and this has got to be the last straw.... I mean the Environment isn't an object or a monster... it's our world... nature!"
- Ralph Nader, two-time Presidential candidate
Nader, however, has proven himself a hysterical fearmonger with his take on this issue and the President has assured the public he is part of an ongoing Terror investigation. In the meantime, Americans can rest assured that the war on the Environment is already underway. Generous companies like Shell, Monsanto and IBP have already donated funds and manpower towards destroying the enemy.
"We're working very hard to destroy as much of the Environment as possible. But so far we've only won a few battles we're a long way from winning the war. All I ask is that Americans support us in any way they can. Drive aimlessly, throw away styrofoam containers, start brush fires, eat only processed foods and burn your rubber tires. Every little bit counts."
- John Hofmeister, President of Shell Oil Company
We here at the Floater Blog have already made a donation to 'Drill Alaska', so now the question is what will you do?
-The Blogastair, reporting live on location, White House Press Room, Washington D.C.
"It's absurd. The picture is clearly a poorly doctored photo of an enlarged caterpillar, which by the way are herbivores. This Administration has consistently misled the American people and this has got to be the last straw.... I mean the Environment isn't an object or a monster... it's our world... nature!"
- Ralph Nader, two-time Presidential candidate
Nader, however, has proven himself a hysterical fearmonger with his take on this issue and the President has assured the public he is part of an ongoing Terror investigation. In the meantime, Americans can rest assured that the war on the Environment is already underway. Generous companies like Shell, Monsanto and IBP have already donated funds and manpower towards destroying the enemy.
"We're working very hard to destroy as much of the Environment as possible. But so far we've only won a few battles we're a long way from winning the war. All I ask is that Americans support us in any way they can. Drive aimlessly, throw away styrofoam containers, start brush fires, eat only processed foods and burn your rubber tires. Every little bit counts."
- John Hofmeister, President of Shell Oil Company
We here at the Floater Blog have already made a donation to 'Drill Alaska', so now the question is what will you do?
-The Blogastair, reporting live on location, White House Press Room, Washington D.C.
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