Loch Ness discovered to be an evil ploy by Dick Cheney!

In a shocking discovery, journalists at the Floater Blog have uncovered evidence that the famed Loch Ness Monster is in fact a Monster Truck. Shocked and outraged citizens of Fort Augustus are furious at having been Dick Cheney’s patsy for so long. Shown below is a picture of the famed Loch Ness Monster photo:

Famed Loch Ness Monster Photo taken 1948

Recent breakthroughs in computer research discovery technology have allowed the journalists here at the Floater Blog to make a researched discovery and uncover a devious ploy. By zooming in on the above picture we discovered that what appears to be 'humps' in the original photo are actually parts of a Monster Truck called 'The Loch Ness Monster.. truck."

Close-up of 'humps' reveals Monster Truck

Further delving into the technical detective universe we researched a discovery called 'Google' and using this unparalleled technology we managed to locate the perpetrator:

Dick Cheney posing with his small 'Loch Ness Monster...Truck'

Cheney himself immediately caved upon being presented with this overwhelming evidence:

“I was just trying to create an element of fear in the surrounding towns. I was running for Lairdship and needed a way to control the masses, but it back-fired [begins to sob uncontrollably] they… they all laughed at it… they thought it was some hokey joke. Even now… tourists go to see my ‘scary monster.’ [Suddenly becomes very serious and looks right at interviewer] But I got my revenge... didn’t I? I got my revenge! DIDN’T I? SAY IT! SAY ‘I GOT MY REVENGE’ [slaps reporter in the mouth, who is then removed from the premises by secret service].”
-Dick Cheney, VP of the United States

Cheney later admitted that it was on his long forays driving through Loch Ness that he first came up with the plan to shoot his friend in the face.

These unfortunate allegations are appearing just days after the President met with success when he won the ‘Best Douchebag’ award at the Oscars. Needless to say the spin machine is in full affect as the White House tries to deflect blame away from their man, deciding to go with the story of an Elephant as the most convincing cover-up.

Reporting live from Washington with a split lip, The Bloogerbloog