The Floater Blog discovers the Giant Squid and Jimmy Hoffa's body

The Floater Blog investigative team has just returned from their most ambitious and rewarding investigation to date. It is with great honor that the Floater Blog announces the first ever photographic evidence of a Giant Squid and the discovery of Jimmy Hoffa's body. It is with greater honor for the Floater Blog to announce that these two discoveries were made AT THE SAME TIME!

The Floater Blog had received a tip from an anonymous prison inmate last Thursday that Jimmy Hoffa was made to 'sleep with the fishes' off New York's Verrazono Narrows bridge 31 years ago. The Floater Blog Investigative team spent the next 144 hours underwater following the trail of the late Mr. Hoffa's body, discovering that it had:

• Fallen into a refrigerator at the bottom of the New York bay and Frozen solid, preventing decomposition.
• Floated as a cube of ice 3880 nautical miles North towards the polar ice cap.
• Stuck in the bow of the Titanic shipwreck for 16 months until the Discovery Channel crew, unbeknownst to them, knocked him loose.
  
• Voted against Bush in the last election.
• Become part of a bizarre Blue Whale mating ritual through which he became unfrozen.
• Become the cause of a destructive turf war between the Blue Whale 'Crypts' and the Sperm Whale 'Bloods' of the North Pole which the Sperm Whale 'Bloods' eventually won at the cost of 24 homewhales, including 3 that were preggers.
  
• Become the cause of an even more destructive turf war between the Sperm Whale 'Bloods' and the Giant Squid 'Polesh Crew' which was where the investigative team finally caught up with the body.

Without further ado here is the now famous picture of a member of the Polesh Crew and the Bloods fighting over Jimmy Hoffa's body.

The first photographic evidence of a Giant Squid and Jimmy Hoffa's body.

Note the tell-tale tattoo of the Teamster's Logo located on his right hand which we have enlarged and enhanced.

"Without a doubt this is conclusive evidence that Jimmy Hoffa's body has been found."
- Robert S. Mueller III, director of the U.S. F.B.I.

It is unfortunate that the body is being used as a 'plaything' amongst turf wars between giant water beasts but as George Boehlert points out:

"Despite Jimmy Hoffa's obvious importance and success in life, his true accomplishment came in death as he helped to gather the first conclusive evidence of the existence of the Giant Squid. The Floater Blog reporters are nothing but heroes."
- George Boehlert, Director of the Hatfield Marine Science Center

Well, we don't know about heroes, but we're just happy to make a real contribution to science... and justice.

- The Blogastair, reporting live on location, 1.4 miles under the North Pole.