"I am confident the outcome of the match would have been different were it not for the distracting Canadian. He purposely ran as close as he could to our team and not the Americans."
- British Skip David Murdoch
His thoughts were echoed by his teammate:
"I still can't figure out how he did it, but he managed to flick his pelvis in such a way that just as he passed us we caught a glimpse of what was underneath that rubber chicken... a painted tiny Canadian Flag. And let me tell you, it was very tiny. I haven't slept a wink since witnessing that atrocity."
- British Curler Ewan MacDonald
The IOC has begun an investigation into the tiny Canadian flag. In a recent press release they said:
"We have discovered evidence of a very small, slightly mutated Canadian flag. Evidence suggests it was barely recognizable as a 'flag' and certainly not functional. If it were functional, we can feel nothing but pity for the 'flag' bearer."
- IOC President Jacques Rogge
Great Britain is seeking millions in lost endorsements and mental trauma. The IOC is so disgusted they are thinking of either pulling Canada's curling medal or banning Canadians from competing in the next Winter Olympics altogether.
The Blogastair, reporting on location, Turino Italy.