Monday, February 27, 2006

Canadian Streaker being sued by Great Britain Curling Team

In a shocking blow to the Canadian Gold medal curling team, the IOC is considering revoking their medal for an incident that occurred during the bronze medal match-up between Great Britain and the United States. Kristian Bruun, pictured here, was the Canadian streaker responsible for the disruption.

Bruun streaking at the Olympic Curling rink.

Great Britain's curling team is demanding an investigation:

"I am confident the outcome of the match would have been different were it not for the distracting Canadian. He purposely ran as close as he could to our team and not the Americans."
- British Skip David Murdoch

His thoughts were echoed by his teammate:

"I still can't figure out how he did it, but he managed to flick his pelvis in such a way that just as he passed us we caught a glimpse of what was underneath that rubber chicken... a painted tiny Canadian Flag. And let me tell you, it was very tiny. I haven't slept a wink since witnessing that atrocity."
- British Curler Ewan MacDonald

The IOC has begun an investigation into the tiny Canadian flag. In a recent press release they said:

"We have discovered evidence of a very small, slightly mutated Canadian flag. Evidence suggests it was barely recognizable as a 'flag' and certainly not functional. If it were functional, we can feel nothing but pity for the 'flag' bearer."
- IOC President Jacques Rogge

Great Britain is seeking millions in lost endorsements and mental trauma. The IOC is so disgusted they are thinking of either pulling Canada's curling medal or banning Canadians from competing in the next Winter Olympics altogether.

The Blogastair, reporting on location, Turino Italy.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Steve Jobs sends strong message to RIAA

RIAA claims copying CD's to IPODS unlawful.

In a rather shocking turn of events the RIAA has submitted a filing as part of the Digital Millennium copyrights act that states that they have never given permission for people to copy their cd's and then put them onto an MP3 player (ipods etc) and therefore it is unlawful.

This of course, threatens the sales of the enormously successful ipod. Apple immediately organized a press conference and sent a strong message to the RIAA:

Steve Jobs at the press conference.

Apple CEO Steve Jobs presided over the press conference and took a strong stance on the issue. Steve said:

"Those f***ing ***ts think they can post some bulls*** paper that f***s with my s***? Well I have a f***ing message for them. You have no f***ing idea who you are f***ing with. I am going to tear your b***s off and shove them up your a*****e, you tainty motherf***ers."
- Steve Jobs on the RIAA

When asked if he was hiding behind euphemisms and political rhetoric Steve replied:

"[slaps reportor in the face] F*** you b****! Don't you dare f***ing talk to me ever again. [spits on reporter]"
- Steve Jobs on the reporter asking him about the RIAA

What can be extracted from all of this? Well, it appears the consumer can rest well as Apple has a firm stance on consumer rights and is prepared to fight for it's user-friendly product. Also, it appears Steve Jobs has an anger management problem, possibly suffering from psychosis.*

The Bloggerbogger

*the preceeding article may or may not be true*

*alright, it's not true. Except for the part about the RIAA trying to screw us again.

Thursday, February 23, 2006


Robin posted an interesting comment about the last post, signing off with "Suck on that, Kojak!" This is an interesting development in our relationship. I had assumed for years that Kojak was a sensitive subject with Robin as he was a part of the first failed pilot of the TV show as Kojak's sidekick 'Flobbin.' In fact one review of the pilot said:

"...Kojak is a tour de force Detective show completely and utterly ruined by the quirky windbag of a sidekick 'Flobbin.' Also, a very dumb name for any character, let alone a sidekick." - Jimmy Hausmon, NY Times August 12th, 1973.

Kojak's failed first pilot.

The show miraculously recovered and went on to great success, albeit without 'Flobbin.' But to my friend Robin, whom I had always assumed was sensitive about almost single-handedly ruining one of television's great cop shows, good on you for keepin perspective! Keep on fightin the good fight!

The Bloggggggggggger

Monday, February 20, 2006

Another great friend.

Hello everyone.
I have something serious to talk about. Recently I was talking to my friend Aaron about my blog. He made a bit of a joke about not wanting to post a comment. He said it was because only two people had commented on the blog (one of them being myself) and if he were to comment on that fact, it would only make him part of the very small circle of people (possibly two) reading my blog. Well I thought about what he had said some more and I realized that he brings up a good point. There probably are very few people reading this blog and I'm not sure I'd want to comment either. Also, Aaron's a smart guy and has a great job in the entertainment industry and he knows what he is talking about. In case you aren't one of the two people who usually read this blog, I've posted a picture of Aaron at work.

Aaron working hard!

So, on the off chance that more than two people read this blog, I'd love to hear your comments about this subject. Otherwise, Aaron, it would appear you are right again!

The Blblbl og.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Friends say thank you.

I have a good friend. His name is Hyung. He is a great guy, we hang out a lot and he's there for me if I need him. Yesterday I was having some trouble with changing the new header on my blog and Hyung sat down with me for HOURS and helped me figure it out. He is a true gentleman. I don't know how else to repay such a great friend but to mention him here on my blog. For those of you who don't know Hyung I've posted a picture of him recently in a park.

Hyung playing in the park.

So don't let anyone say I'm not a good friend! I give credit where credit is due. And if you see Hyung on the street, say hello and tell him he's a great guy.

The Friend you always wish you had,


Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The Valentine's Day Question

Valentine's Day. You either hate it or sort of, kind of enjoy it. I'm for the latter right now because I have someone to share it with. (Yes, sadly it's true, I am taken Ladies. And Yes, it's true, she does look like a supermodel Guys.) But of course, talking about Valentine's day always brings up the inevitable question.

Which species, other than human, celebrates Valentine's day the best?

The answer. Simple:


Here's why: Everyday is Valentine's Day to Rabbits as everyday is marked by a significant amount of humping. You might be thinking "If everyday is Valentine's Day then they aren't celebrating the special day." Well you're right, but I would argue, that their everyday humping is better than any other species Valentine's Day humping.

You think you know a species that humps more? I would like to hear it.

The Blogalablob

Monday, February 13, 2006

An actual Invisibility Cloak!

A Russian inventor has patented an 'invisibility cloak.' This of course, begs the age old question:

How many problems will I have with women spying on me with an invisibility cloak?

The answer: Many. Too many? Probably. Would I like it? No. Would I understand it? Yes.

I am a modest man, which has helped me through many troubled times. And it has helped me to understand that being an incredibly attractive man has its drawbacks sometimes. But there's only so much one man can do. For those of you who don't know me, well... here is a picture of me at the beach from a couple years ago. Of course the paparazzi put me on the front of another magazine. The other two are just a part of my usual 'hangers on' followers.

Here's me hangin out at the beach.

Anyhoo. Just wanted to let you all know that I'm disappointed with this technological development, I have enough women trying to get a peek at the ol’ bod but I will carry on. With your help of course:

Please send 5 dollars to P.O. Box 447 Toronto, ON M5R 2R8

kick it!

The Blogblob

Thursday, February 09, 2006

The Olympics in Torino

As many of you should know, the XXVBSITQ Olympic Games officially open on Friday February 9th. These games represent the pinnacle of success for those athletes that nobody cares about for 3 years and 340 days. But for two short weeks in the snow covered hills of Turino Italy, the best of the world's figure skaters, ski jumpers, biatholoners and of course skelotoners will all be in the same place at the same time. A protein supplement's company's wet dream.

It's at this time in the Olympic process that we all take a deep look inside ourselves and ask "If I were forced to compete in one event at the Olympics, which event would cause me the most bodily harm?"

Good question. Let's discuss.

1. Ski Jumping. The popular choice. Many people are not avid skiers and thus, would probably not even make it down the 38 degree ramp. Well they would make it down the ramp but not on skis. The best case scenario: You fall about 4 or 5 meters down the ramp, break your hand while breaking your fall on the ramp, your useless hand twitches uselessly as you fall over the side, head first into one of the many support beams breaking your neck. Your legs shatter on impact with the icy mountainside and you slide down the mountain under the ramp, bouncing off the ramp supports like so many puppies in a wind tunnel. The look on your face as your reading this now should tell you why so many people pick Ski Jumping as their number one choice.

2. Freestyle Skiing (Aerials). Similar to Ski Jumping but with this one there is an out. Again, assuming you're not much of a skier. It is again likely that you might not make it standing to the aerial jump. In which case the Best Case scenario involves a plethora of broken ribs and a severe concussion as you slam into the wall of snow erected to help you take flight. If you are an avid skier (as I am) this one becomes a bit more dangerous. Unlike Ski Jumping where the emphasis is on horizontal flight, the emphasis is on height here. So while I rest assured that I could manage to propel myself quite well off the aerial jump, my experience landing jumps from forty feet in the air is minimal at best. Best Case Scenario: Entire body shatters on impact with the ground, helmet saves you from death. No ramp supports to slow down your descent means a less severe, albeit not less painful, injury.

3. Skeleton. Head first, icy half tunnel, speeds in excess of 130 kilometers an hour... need I say more? Well, yes. First off, we would be forced to compete but that doesn't mean we would compete well. I doubt any of us would get near the 130 kilometer speed mark. However going even 60 k is enough to scrape the skin off my face (thank goodness for that face shield). There is some debate as to whether or not falling off the sled (which would most likely be inevitable) would cause serious injury. There would be pain, oh yes, there would be pain, but how much? The key question is whether or not the impact would involve rolling or not. Comments are welcome.

4. Ice Hockey. My personal favorite. Here's why. So you're forced to play on a team even thought you can't play hockey (Let's say Team Canada). The team has to play you, unless you couldn't play. Here's my thinking is your team knows you can't play and would, thus, rather you couldn't play. I'm thinking an open ice pass right up the middle to slow skatin little ol' you. Now the other team, (really doesn't matter who you are playing against at that level) sees an open ice hit, their going to take it. I am quite confident that if I took and open ice hit a lo Chris Chelios or heck even Daniel Sedin, it would mean close to certain death for me.

Well that's it, there are more sports, comments are welcome... this is a debate that will be brought up every 2 years when the Olympics come so might as well get your say in, you're gonna say it anyways.

The Bloggog.

Friday, February 03, 2006

MPAA stole the cookies from the cookie jar.

The MPAA has been accused of DVD piracy.

This is great. Another "it's ok for me but it's definitely not ok for you" scenario. Kind of like the "it's ok for me to put you in secret prisons all over sketchy eastern European Countries and not tell anyone about it, but it's not ok for you not to tell me what your phone numbers are, your credit rating, who your friends are, your criminal record, your purchase patterns, who your employers have been, what schools you attended, how many times you have been out of the country, how many times you drive your car through a toll booth, how much you spend on heating and electricity, how much water you use, and by association, when you flush your toilet, and finally, every other record we have of you" scenario. But I digress. (For more on this topic though please see this article and many others like it here.)

This is about the giant double standard the movie and recording industry pushes upon us with their 'woe is us, our sales are going down because of immoral people stealing.' You know I have a friend (I don't really know him but I feel like we could be friends) who spoke to me (in a movie theatre) about stealing (Piracy, big difference). He told me he loved his job and works very hard at being a special effects technician for the movies (paid commercial actor). But he taught me an important lesson (screaming 'BULLSHIT' in the theatre really loud gets you kicked out) that whether you steal a candy bar or download a movie your only hurting the little guy (such as billionaire George Lucas), and what's more, it's wrong and immoral.

Wow, the MPAA and the RIAA have sunk to a new transparent low... accusing their purchasers of being immoral, they of course stand on the high ground. 'But wait,' you say, 'what does the RIAA have to do with all of this, they didn't pirate DVD's.' No, Sally, you're right, they've only been convicted of 'Price Fixing.' Another friend taught me that Price Fixing is the same as stealing a candy bar, instead your stealing millions of candy bars from millions of consumers. But at least they make amends for it right? Read this to find out how they made amends by donating thousands of unwanted and duplicate cds to libraries across the U.S.

Alright, that's enough for today.

Keep er real.

The Bloggiwoggster.