In possibly the most damaging scandal yet of the current President's reign, the Government has been caught red-handed trying to expand their illegal surveillance network. Between 2am and 5am on Monday April 17th hundreds of Americans were surprised to be woken up to an Easter Bunny breaking into their house to hide eggs... and microphones.
Perhaps the most shocking aspect of this story is the White House's frank and unapologetic views of their brazen plan.
"For quite some time, we have been looking at expanding our surveillance from wiretaps and electronic interceptions to direct in-home microphones. We feel this is an important step in National Security and our studies show the only people opposed to this measure are terrorists and traitors."
- Scott Mclellan, White House Press Secretary
Perhaps the most shocking aspect of this story is the White House's frank and unapologetic views of their brazen plan.
"For quite some time, we have been looking at expanding our surveillance from wiretaps and electronic interceptions to direct in-home microphones. We feel this is an important step in National Security and our studies show the only people opposed to this measure are terrorists and traitors."
- Scott Mclellan, White House Press Secretary
One of the many Easter Bunnies' Mugshots
Thankfully one reporter, who has now been banned from the White House press room, asked the right question: Why were men dressed up as Easter Bunnies attempting to install these microphones in the middle of the night?
"Well we had been looking at different ways to deliver our in-home-listening-devices and the President came up with a solution. The plan was to piggy back the real Easter Bunny's work on Easter Weekend. While the Easter Bunny was delivering the real treats for girls and boys, our men, dressed to look like the real Easter Bunny, would go in and install the microphones. If anyone saw them, they would assume they were the real Easter Bunny and go back to bed. Of course, hind-sight 20/20 the President found out this morning that the real Easter Bunny is in-fact, not real."
- Scott Mclellan, White House Press Secretary
Few details other than those mentioned were released to the public including possible consequences of this episode. In fact, reporters found themselves stone-walled again when Mclellan left in a huff.
"... I've already said no comment on that subject. Look, why don't you stop asking questions about information only terrorists could be interested in. Let's talk about the real issue here. The President has just found out that a lifelong idol of his does not in fact exist. It's a tough and emotional day for this mourning administration and it is very insensitive of you to come in here and make it tougher like this. Frankly I'm disgusted. [walks off in a huff]"
- Scott Mclellan, White House Press Secretary
Is this action unconstitutional? What happens to the 'Easter Bunnies'? Are you planning to continue expanding your illegal surveillance? On a day where the President has lost a childhood friend, questions like these, will have to go unanswered.
The Blogastair, reporting live on location, White House Press Room, Washingtong, D.C.
"Well we had been looking at different ways to deliver our in-home-listening-devices and the President came up with a solution. The plan was to piggy back the real Easter Bunny's work on Easter Weekend. While the Easter Bunny was delivering the real treats for girls and boys, our men, dressed to look like the real Easter Bunny, would go in and install the microphones. If anyone saw them, they would assume they were the real Easter Bunny and go back to bed. Of course, hind-sight 20/20 the President found out this morning that the real Easter Bunny is in-fact, not real."
- Scott Mclellan, White House Press Secretary
Few details other than those mentioned were released to the public including possible consequences of this episode. In fact, reporters found themselves stone-walled again when Mclellan left in a huff.
"... I've already said no comment on that subject. Look, why don't you stop asking questions about information only terrorists could be interested in. Let's talk about the real issue here. The President has just found out that a lifelong idol of his does not in fact exist. It's a tough and emotional day for this mourning administration and it is very insensitive of you to come in here and make it tougher like this. Frankly I'm disgusted. [walks off in a huff]"
- Scott Mclellan, White House Press Secretary
Is this action unconstitutional? What happens to the 'Easter Bunnies'? Are you planning to continue expanding your illegal surveillance? On a day where the President has lost a childhood friend, questions like these, will have to go unanswered.
The Blogastair, reporting live on location, White House Press Room, Washingtong, D.C.
3 comments:
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