Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Catherine the Great and Ivan the Terrible still alive.

The Floater Blog has uncovered some troubling yet fascinating news. Recent comments on this site by 'Catherine the Great' and 'Ivan the Terrible' led Floater Blog researchers (The Floaters) to investigate a Toronto area home. Upon breaking and entering The Floaters stumbled upon a scene of shock and awe as they managed to snap just one picture.


Ivan and Catherine with the Shovel Sisters

A group calling themselves the 'Shovel Sisters' has not only exhumed both Catherine the Great and Ivan the Terrible but they were harboring them as fugitives in their Toronto dwelling. After a short discussion the Sisters broke down and confessed all about their failed experiment with re-animation.

"It was a great idea. If we could reanimate Catherine the Great and Ivan the Terrible we would have the best of both types of leadership and could make a bid to take over the world. But it all went wrong, horribly wrong. During their re-unification process with modern times we discovered that Catherine the Great was not that great at all... she never cleans up after herself, she never actually cleans herself for that matter and she doesn't flush the toilet. And Ivan... oh... he is terrible... after you took that picture... we still haven't seen Aaron (The lost boy in the middle of the photo)."
- Robin Senior, gang leader, Shovel Sisters


Indeed it did go terribly wrong for the Shovel Sisters. If only they had had more control maybe Catherine and Ivan wouldn't have snuck onto the internet and posted on my blog. Maybe they both would not have fled the area, whereabouts unknown. And maybe, just maybe, we'd know where Aaron was.

On another note, the Floaters discovered that whoever posted a comment as 'Edward Longshanks' the long dead British Monarch is a fraud. Edward Longshanks is dead and gone and how dare you sully his name for your own humorous advances.

The Blooogerini, reporting live on location, Toronto, Ontario.


8 comments:

Manel said...

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Graeme Stewart said...

Frankly, I'm shocked. Who would have such a categorical knowledge of dead British Kings? Some history nut, with far too much time on his hands? The kind of man who annoys his friends, perhaps during a regular poker game, with meaningless historical trivia? Who? WHO?

Anonymous said...

Al, I need to tell you that this is getting pretty tiresome. First you bring a sheep into our home and even though it's Hyung and we love him he poops right on the floor (he will be talking to you and all the sudden you smell something and it's poop- POOP for godssake!). And then we had those two old people in the house- sure they like to play scrabble at night and watch Friends but Catherine didn't laugh at any of my jokes and Ivan kept staring at my boobs. And they wouldn't sleep on the futon. I'm glad they're gone (but I got to keep her pretty tiara). No more okay? I mean- no more! Okay! Love Ievs.

Alastair P. Forbes said...

You know Graeme, I think you're right. It probably is some wacko history nut... but I'll say this... If I ever find out who it is, and I'm a pretty good detective, there will be trouble in the form of an egg on a face.

And Ieva, I don't know how you put up with me thank you again, and I love you. Also Hyung pooped on the carpet again can you clean it up when you get home?

Alastair P. Forbes said...

Yes Robin, your face indeed looks like it has recently been put out with a shovel. However, if I remember correctly, shortly after the Floater Blog investigative team broke into your humble abode, a blast cap was detonated and your hair was set on fire, only to be put out by Hyung... with his shovel.

Anonymous said...

my God, i thought you were going to chip in with some decisive insght at the end there, not leave it with ‘we leave it to you to decide’.

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